Allan and Barbara Pease are the internationally renowned experts in human relations and body language, whose 20 million book sales world- wide have turned. PDF Drive is your search engine for PDF files. As of today we have 78,, eBooks for you to download for free. No annoying ads, no download limits, enjoy . The definitive book of body language. Home · The The Body Language of Liars . Read more When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book · Read more.

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When I first heard about 'body language' at a seminar in , I became so excited This book is by no means the last word on body language, nor does it. That's why studying body language has such a long history. That's because, the Peases write in "The Definitive Book of Body Language," an open palm has. Included are how-to sections on proper speaking posture, gestures, body .. At the same time, don't get gestures out of a book or from another speaker.

Hall 's personal reaction bubbles , showing radius in feet Another notable area in the nonverbal world of body language is that of spatial relationships, which is also known as Proxemics. Introduced by Edward T.

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Hall in , proxemics is the study of measurable distances between people as they interact with one another. Hall also came up with four distinct zones in which most men operate: [26] Intimate distance for embracing, touching or whispering Close phase — less than 6 inches 15 cm Far phase — 6 to 18 inches 15 to 46 cm Personal distance for interactions among good friends or family members Close phase — 1.

In addition to physical distance, the level of intimacy between conversants can be determined by "socio-petal socio-fugal axis", or the "angle formed by the axis of the conversants' shoulders". For example, when people talk they like to face each other.

Body Language Books

If forced to sit side by side, their body language will try to compensate for this lack of eye-to-eye contact by leaning in shoulder-to-shoulder. Hall suggested that "physical contact between two people They often greet one another by kissing on the cheeks. North Americans , on the other hand, prefer to shake hands.

While they have made some physical contact with the shaking of the hand, they still maintain a certain amount of physical space between the other person.

The manner in which something is said can affect how it should be interpreted. Shouting, smiling, irony and so on may add a layer of meaning which is neither pure body language nor speech.

Attitude[ edit ] Human communication is extremely complex and one must look at the whole in order to make any determination as to the attitudes being expressed. Whilst there is a wider debate about the percentage share which should be attributed to each of the three contributing factors, it is generally agreed upon that body language plays a fundamental role in determining the attitude a person conveys. A person may alter their body language in order to alter the attitude they convey; this may in turn influence the rapport they have with another person.

For instance, if an interviewer adopts a formal attitude then this conveys a more business like impression, which may encourage the interviewee to give more serious answers. This may develop a more professional rapport overall between them.

Alternatively, if the interviewer adopts an informal attitude, this conveys a more open and casual impression.

Body Language Books

This may be used to elicit a more open response from the interviewee, encourage them to give more revealing answers, and potentially develop a more personal rapport. Universal vs. Where Darwin notes similarity in expression among animals and humans, the Cultural Equivalence Model notes similarity in expression across cultures in humans, even though they may be completely different.

One of the strongest pieces of evidence that supports this model was a study conducted by Paul Ekman and Friesen , where members of a preliterate tribe in Papua New Guinea reliably recognized the facial expressions of individuals from the United States.

The Definitive Book of Body Language

She divides her time… More about Barbara Pease. Allan Pease has written eleven bestselling books on the subject of human communication and body language, including, with his wife,… More about Allan Pease. And underline. And learn. And laugh. And steal. The Definitive Book of Body Language is a marvel of a book! Read An Excerpt.

Psychology Personal Growth Category: Psychology Personal Growth. Hardcover —. download the Ebook: Leaders also tend to be the first of a group to walk through a doorway and like to sit at the end of a sofa rather than in the middle. In a conference room, the boss usually sits at the head of the table, often farthest away from the door. In a boardroom, people who will mirror your position are also the most likely to vote for you.

Smoking then is one of the many displacement activities people use while non smokers chew gums, bite their nails, groom, tap their foot, scratch their heads or play with something. Blowing Smoke Blowing the smoke of a cigarette up is a positive sign. Conversely blowing down is a sign the smoker is in a negative, secretive or suspicious frame of mind. Blowing down from the corner of the mouth further reinforces the negative sign. Speed of Blowing Smoke The speed at which the smoke is blown is an indicator of the intensity of the feelings.

You can then change course terminate it earlier so it seems it was your decision. Glasses The Definitive Book of Body Language quotes Desmond Morris when he noted that putting objects against the lips or the mouth is an attempt to relive the security a baby had when he was breastfeeding. A person wearing glasses putting the arm of the frame in or near the mouth is looking for reassurance.

Big frame glasses project power while frameless or thin frame glasses convey a powerless image and say you are more interested in fashion than in business and the opposite is true in social situation.

Peering Over Glasses Barbara and Allan Pease say that looking at people over the rim of the glasses gives a sensation they are being judged. The person on the receiving end may respond to it by crossing their arms. Sunglasses on the Head Dark sunglasses during meetings make you appear secretive and even insecure. Glasses and Makeup Makeup adds credibility for women in business, as confirmed by a small experiment Pease conducted himself.

The combo of makeup and glasses was even more powerful. Lipsticks Barbara and Allan Pease say that wearing bright color lipsticks for interviews made women appear as if they were more interested in themselves than in business and career.

Women without lipsticks were seen as more serious about work than men, but they were also seen as more lacking in personal skills. Slimmer briefcases say the person is only concerned with the bottom line and has more status. Body Angles Open Positions Standing straight and facing someone head on is perceived as aggressive. To avoid taking an aggressive stand we must stand at 45 degrees angles so that together with our speaking partner we form a 90 degrees angle.

This position invites other to join the conversation. Pointing the body away from the listener is seen as confident but not aggresive. Closed Positions Barbara and Allan Pease say that if two people want intimacy they will instead face each other. If someone wants to monopolize the conversation with someone, they will take this position. If the other person accepts the courtship signal, they will also orient their bodies at zero angle.

The Closed Position can also be used to issue a challenge between people who are hostile to each other. Only turning the heads towards someone signals that the newcomer is not very welcome. They will probably have tight lipped smiles as well. Seated Body Pointing When we are seated we can point our knees towards the person we are most interested in or towards the person we accept the most.

Feet serve the same purpose: we point our feet towards the person we find the most interesting. Courtship and Attraction Gestures The Definitive Book of Body Language quotes Albert Scheflen when he found out that when we meet someone from the opposite sex meet physiological changes take place that make us more youthful in appearance.

A man will stand taller, protrude his jaw, and expand his chest while an interested woman will make her more submissive and feminine.

Today however we see the re-emergence of the me who takes care of himself, sometimes even in ways which have been predominantly feminine. This is the sometimes so called metrosexual man. The authors say that while the metrosexual male seem strange to many heterosexual men, their observations shows that metrosexuals fall in the categories of gay men, effeminate men and who realize that many traditional female behaviors are a great way to meet lots of women Robert Greene talks about it in his Dandies section of The Art of Seduction.

Attracting The Opposite Sex When someone wants to attract the opposite sex, we do so by emphasizing sexual differences. Women would describe Graham as sexy, masculine, humorous and as making them feel feminine.

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Men described him as aggressive, insincere, arrogant and not particularly funny. Women Call the Shots The Definitive Book of Body Language will tell you what most good observers noted by themselves: most men will tell you they made the first move.

Women and Men Misunderstandings Barbara and Allan Pease say most men tend to mistake friendliness and smiling for sexual interest. Upon meeting a possible partner women tend to send a flurry of courting rituals in the first minutes. They often send ambiguous messages in the early stages to manipulate men into showing their hand. Men often confuse these signals and make a clumsy pass. The Attraction Process The human courtship follows a predictable five step sequence: Stage 1.

Eye contact: She looks at him until he notices and hold eye contact for around five seconds, then turns away. Smiling: She gives him a quick half smil Stage 3. Look at Undercover Sex Signals for more. He can respond standing up straight, pulling in stomach, expanding his chest, tucking his thumbs into his belt and preening as well.

They point their feet or entire bodies toward each other. Stage 4. Talk: He approaches and attempts to make small talk Stage 5.

A hand touch is more intimate than the arm. The touch is repeated to let them know it was not accidental. Touching the shoulder of a man says she cares about his health and appearance.

The 13 Most Common Female Courtship Signals The Definitive Book of Body Language says that women use a lot of the same gestures men use, such as touching the hair, smoothing the clothes, body pointing, gaze and one or both hands on hips.

Head Toss and Hair Flick: Usually the first, used even by women with short hair Wet Lips and Pouting, Mouth Open: women have more subcutaneous fat than men, including lips, which are used as a sign of femininity. Also the female genital lips are proportional to their lips, so it becomes a sexual mimicry.

Aroused women have their lips, breasts and genitals become larger and redder because of blood circulation, so red lipsticks are very attractive Self Touching: our minds act our secret desires Limp Wrist: the Limp Wrist is a submission signals used only by women and gay men.

In business situation should be avoided Fondling a Cylindrical Object: a man could in turn symbolically possess her by fondling her belonging a cigarette lighter, keys etc.

Exposed Wrists: especially simple to do for smoking women Sideways Glance On Raised Shoulder: Rolling Hips: a woman has an accentuated roll that highlights her feminine pelvic region Pelvic Tilt: Tilting the pelvis shows her waist to hip ration. Fondling or asking him to get something from it is equally positive Knee Point Shoe Fondle: it has the phallic effect of thrusting the foot in and out.

Other leg signals are crossing and uncrossing the legs slowly in front of the man and gently stroking the thighs with her hand Also later on Pease says that a woman is likely to lean forward and push her arms close, pressing her breasts together and showing cleavage.

Male Courtship Signals Men are generally not good at sending and receiving the signals used in the mating game. Male courtship signals involved the display of power, wealth and status. Some other signs include: Preening: straightening the tie, brush imagine dust from the shoulder, touch cufflinks or watch and rearrange shirt or coat Crotch Displays: the most direct sexual display is the aggressive thumbs in belt gesture; when seated or against a wall he can also spread his legs Crotch Adjustments What Men Look at in Women Barbara and Allan Pease say that when it comes to body shape both men and women prefer athletic body shapes.

Men are more attracted to women with a childlike face -large eyes, small nose and full lips and cheeks- as it releases hormones that want to make them protect her. Women prefer instead adult faces such as strong jaws, larger brows and strong nose.

What Women Look At Most The Definitive Book of Body Language say something you are probably familiar with: women prefer men with deeper, smoother voices because deep tones are linked to testosterone levels. Pease adds that in countries where feminism has been more influential women have taken jobs requiring more testosterone production and have become more assertive and authoritative and their voice deepened as well.

Broad shoulders, muscular chest and arms and a tight butt are preferred. Barbara and Allan Pease say that tight butt are preferred because it helps making the strong, forward motions needed for successful sperm transfer during sex. Availability Beats Looks The authors say that a man is often more attracted to a woman by the signs of her availability than by her physical attractiveness and you can learn and practice availability signals.

Indeed, Pease says, studies show that most people are skeptical about beautiful people and it appears to be inborn as babies prefer average faces to very beautiful ones.

Hot VS Cold People who are described as cold tend to be physically colder too because their blood flows to legs and arm muscles for the fight or flight response. When one person is attracted to another blood rises to the skin surface making them warmer. If the object we lean against or touch belong to someone else it can also be used as an intimidation sign or as a challenge.

A boss speaking to a subordinate in his own office could put his feet on the desk, but if his superior enters his office he is more likely to change that position, and might for example place a foot on the bottom drawer of the desk. Lovers hold hands or put their arms around each other to show wanna be competitors they have a claim on that person. Taller men tend to have greater reproductive success because height is linked to testosterone and because women tend to choose taller partners.

Men prefer shorter women because it gives them the height advantage. On the screen we tend to assigner height centimeters based on the power and authority of their presentation. This is why, Pease say, many short actors or politicians do well on the screen: they simply act tall. Also, you act the way you need to act independently of your height. As a matter of fact, a short man acting powerfully is even more impressive and a taller man acting submissive is more striking.

Just look Joe Pesci doing it: Powerful performances or impressive titles all lead to you being perceived as taller.

Barbara and Allan Pease say that if you want to test the authority that comes with height lie down on the floor and try to reprimand someone standing. Then try the opposite. If you really wanted to try something similar, then you should stand on your knees. You should just try to reprimand someone taller than you, as simple as that.

Very tall people can have the disadvantage when they want to connect with people shorter than they are. To sum it up, to fully quote Barbara and Allan Pease, height differences can have a significant impact on relationships, but height and power are often just perception. People tend to be superior and protective when in their territory, especially their own home, so using submissive gestures and behavior is effective for getting them on your side.

The authors say you can also make yourself to avoid intimidating others or to avoid coming across confrontational. Pease uses the example of appeasing cops who pulled you over for a ticket by playing the victim.

Negating Height Power Barbara and Allan Pease say that If you are shorter, you can create a sitting situation that will neutralize the height of the other negotiators in the room by lowering their chairs or raising yours — as was suggested by Leil Lowndes -. Sitting at the opposite side of a desk or talking to them standing while they are seated are also good techniques. Talking in public settings such as bars or crowds, or in a car or plane also limits the tactics of taller speaking partners.

To appear taller, dark colored clothing, pinstriped suits or pants suits and full sizes watches make you look taller. About the watch, the idea is that the bigger the watch the more clout the person appears to have.

Seating Arrangements This was for me one of the most interesting chapter of The Definitive Book of Body Language because it opened some new doors of understanding. How you sit in relation to other is an important tell of relationships statuses and a powerful way to gain cooperation. The corner of desk provides some smaller cover.

Pease says this is the best position to deliver a presentation. Cooperative Position: sitting by the same side of the table. The table becomes a solid barrier between the two and it can lead to each party taking a first stand on his point of view. Many managers unluckily prefer the desk.

Male managers were twice as likely to place a desk between themselves and their subordinates and. The person sitting to your right tend to be more cooperative than the one to your left. Pease and Pease recommends that you look at the question asker as you begin to reply, then turn your head back to the silent person and keep going back and forth as you speak.

You then finish looking at the question asker. Rectangular Board Tables The person sitting at the shorter edge of the table, the farthest from the door, is the one with most power.

The person right in front of him across the table is next in line. Then the person in the middle of the long edge of the table. Then the person to the right of the leader. Power Plays at Home Open families tend to go for round tables, while closed families prefer square tables. Authoritative families go for rectangular tables. Placing the shiest person at the head of the table will often lead that person to talk more and even more authoritatively.

Let your prospect sit with the back against a solid wall because open spaces make people uncomfortable. Lights should be dimmed and muffled background music should be played to relax the senses. If the prospect picks it up and moves it into his territory it signals acceptance and you can ask to go over to show him something so that you can take the collaborative position.

Pease says that most good stuff from the CV, what really matters, is forgotten. The higher up the person is, the less nonverbal gesture he will use because he can use words to convey meaning.

Less educated and less verbally accurate people will use more gestures to communicate as he tries to make up for vocabulary range.When to tell if your message being conveyed and that your subjects are open and receptive to your arguments. Tracy and Robins concluded that the expression of pride includes an expanded posture of the body with the head tilted back, with a low-intensity face and a non-Duchenne smile raising the corner of the mouth. This is a very intelligent person who is now retired from a successful career as business leader.

Every person's body language very often reveals that what they say is different from what they think or feel. You can then change course terminate it earlier so it seems it was your decision. Parallel Legs Parallel Legs is the most attractive seating position for a woman. Smiling is Contagious Barbara and Allan Pease say we automatically copy the facial expressions we see in other people.

Putting objects in the mouth is a sign that the person feels like he needs more time and wants to delay an answer.